It is happening again…

My current state of mind is so fucked up. Stress level at it’s peak, failing to understand people’s idiocy and at a point of giving up of what I had been fighting for. I am finding myself in a constant loop of problems. The same problems keep coming back, haunting me and repeating itself again and again, either with the same people or different people. I just want to forget my past, give up on what had been the ‘proudest moment’ of my life. Seeing it now, it is almost meaningless when the world means very little to you.

When I put it all out, explaining what I felt inside me, whether it is directed to someone in particular or nobody in particular, I will be called an emo, I am doing it because I am stressed and because I am not myself. For the fact that people whom does not know me well and saying that, it is the best and selfish way to avoid responsibility when in happier times you claim that we are friends and we are one big family. I sit down and think. I pick my words and actions, for what I think it is best at that moment. That is why I rarely apologize for what I have said or for what I have done even though fingers are pointing at me. Out of the many apologies, there are only a handful of people that I am sincere when I offer my apologies because they deserve it.

p/s Let’s wind the clock back to about 9 months ago, that is what is happening right now.